한 바보의 환상적인 세계♥

수요일, 3월 23, 2005

I finally decided on something. I considered. I wondered. I pondered. The impossible means the impossible. I shld jus leave it alone. Why shld i go agst heaven's will and attempt to do something that holds no future? There is simply not enuf reason why i shld do that. To even think about it in the first place now strikes a terrifying chord in me. But pple, do not ask me what im saying. Theres only one other person in this whole wide world who knows about it. N i know she will keep it to herself, jus like im goin to keep this secret to my grave. Yeah, bury this once and forever. Then there will be no more problems in my world. My own encapsulated, cushioned, detached world that truly belongs to me. N me alone. Nah, it has nth to do with the previous issue. Thats history already. Another page in my diary of memories. It's gettin full. Bursting at e sides even, my diary i mean. Sometimes, ignorance can be a bliss. N knowing too much only serves to bring more agony. From now on, i will strive to be ignorant. If that is the only way i can be happy, so be it. I have no complaints watsoever. REally. After all, i had always wanted to be a happy child.

Its raining now. Dark moody skies. Soul-wrenching music playing. All alone at home. Atmosphere screaming out for a good cry. But nah i wun cry. Why shld i. Its dumb. I grew out of tt since a long time ago. N im not that depressed n down in the dumps to be doin dumb things now. Can anyone rem all the memories he/she once had in their entire life?why is the brain not designed to do tt? I suddenly feel curious. Pple often say that its only bad memories that always fail to go away. Good memories, on the other hand, seeps thru the nuclear pores of ur nuclear membrane, passes via tiny neurotransmitters into the part of ur gray matter tt has a large signage saying 'TRASH", all before u can say to it that 'yes i dO wan those memories'. Now, why is that so? A fren told me, go n bathe n have a sleep, u will feel better after that. I beg to differ. Cos i see no difference myself. After waking, the bad memories are still impregnated in ur mind, nodding their tiny heads n waving their minute hands at u furiously, seekin to be not forgotten while u doze away. Their existence till now remains a mystery. But still, i guess i will still sleep after all. Tired. N a hope with the size of a nanomolecule that it will work after all n *tada*, my bad memories are mysteriously gone when i wake again.

Can i be sleeping beauty in my next life? I think her life's cool. Imagine not having to consume food for years n still stayin as beautiful as ever when she finally comes out of her coma, erm i mean eternal sleep. N she's not even a vampire! Cool...( does all the lects abt blood glucose apply here? U noe in period of constant starvation, lipolysis occurs n triacylglcerides are mobilised, ketone bodies utilised by the brain blah blah blah..hmm den doesnt mean princess aurora shld be a stick-like figure when she wakes up?)

또 울어버렸다.. @ 4:19 PM